Of Pineapples and Glowsticks
by silly jackal
Summary: Randomness slapped together from a late night conversation. Expect character bashing, the Black Luster Bunny, and the mystical Shamu-sama.
1. Lollygagging Rabbits

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. If I did, a few certain bishounen who shall remain nameless--*COUGHMALIKROUBAKURAYAMICOUGH*; whoa, excuse me there--would pop up spontaneously, shirtless.  
  
Sweet Bakura will be referred to as Ryou, Yami Bakura will be called Bakura, Yami Yugi will be Yami. And if Malik comes in, Yami Malik will be referred as so, until I can sort him out, and Malik just as Malik. Makes sense?  
  
'Thoughts'  
"Speech"  
Anzu = Tea. Because I don't like typing "Tea", unless I'm referring to the lovely drink.  
  
This fic is dedicated to you, Bryan. Enjoy! XD  
  
---  
  
Of Pineapples and Glowsticks  
  
Chapter 1 - Lollygagging Rabbits  
  
  
'Twas a normal day in Domino City, and the gang was at the park. Yugi and Joey were dueling, Tristan and Anzu were off picking flowers, and Yami .. well..  
  
"LOOK AT ME, I'M A DOLPHIN!" rang Yami's voice. No one really paid attention to Yami as he did a good Flipper impression in the lake near their picnic site, 'waterwalking' with his feet like a dolphin does with its tail.  
  
Anyhow, back at the duel, Yugi was winning. Of course. Joey had his Baby Dragon out and was awaiting his Time Wizard, and he was at 100 Life Points. Yugi, on the other hand, wouldn't allow him to win, being the selfish bastard with no reguard for the feeings of others he was. It being Yugi's turn, he drew a card from his deck.  
  
"Sorry, Joey, but the duel is over. I summon the Dark Magician!" Leave it to the little squirt to be dramatic with a damn card game without holograms.  
  
"Peh, I summon the card of yo' momma.." Joey growled as his Life Points were deminished.  
  
Yugi just laughed, too dense to realize that Joey's comment was not of good nature, and began packing up his cards, glancing over to his Yami as he leapt like a porpose out of the water and back in again, giggling like a giddy school girl.  
  
No one noticed the obscenely large UFO hovering directly above them, even as a large ray gun popped down from the pod-vey ( spelling? ) doors on the bottom of the ship.  
  
Meanwhile, inside the spacecraft, there stood two figures. One remarkably resembling a little dog-like creature with Kero-style wings, and the other the Black Luster Soldier, both garbed in comedic alien outfits. The dog creature cackled maniacally, while the Black Luster Soldier appeared unsure about this whole thing.  
  
"Uh .. What are we supposed to be doing again, Jacka--.. I mean, Royal-Alien-Empress-Who-Is-Not-Jackal?" the Soldier inquired as he tried to adjust his costume to fit more comfortably over his unnecessarily spikey armor.  
  
The smaller of he two held up a paw for him to wait as she finished her mad scientistesque laughter, which lasted another five minutes or so. The Black Soldier went off to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the meantime.  
  
---  
  
When he returned, there were bread crumbs littered all over the costume, and he had a milk mustache he failed to notice.  
  
"Alright, uh .. Now, what are we going to do now, Royal-Alien-Empress-Who-Is-Not-Jackal?" the warrior asked a second time, brushing the crumbs from his suit.  
  
"Aha, my soldier of black lusterness-ness-ness. As you can see, the rumors in yesterday's tabloids weren't lying, for once. Yami has clearly had a nerous breakdown after Battle City, and is now a complete moron." The smaller of the duo answered as the main screen flickered into a picture of Yami, breaching like a whale in the lake.  
  
The Black Solider arched a dyed-purple-against-his-will eyebrow, shifting uncomfortably. Some crumbs apparently skittered their way into his armor. "What are you going to do about it?"  
  
"That's where YOU come in, drone!"  
  
"Drone?"  
  
"You are going to sneak to their pic-in-ic basket, Boo-boo--er, Blackie--and switch Yami's tuna sandwich with this!" The Royal-Alien-Empress-Who-Is-Not-Jackal held up a plate with a grossly mutated blob sitting on it.  
  
Just the sight of it was enough to make the Soldier of Black feel horribly sick. The thing was hideous. It looked like it had hairy warts and mold splattered on it. He vaguly wondered of a certain Royal-Alien-Empress-ect. had a stomach disagreement earlier.  
  
"Why do -I- have to lug that disgusting deformity--WAIT. How am I going to get close enough to do anything without them noticing me!?" The soldier ranted, flailing his arms. But he soon quieted down at he sight of a smirk forming on the maw of the Kero-winged "alien".  
  
"With this!" she held up a second costume, and the soldier paled and nearly fainted.  
  
"No! I refuse to wear that! I am NOT doing this!"  
  
----  
  
"I can't believe I'm doing this," groaned the Black Luster Soldier as he sat, crouched on the ground near the small group, wearing a pink and white Easter Bunny suit, complete with the floppy ears and cotton tail.  
  
Apparently, no one thought the sight of a knight dressed as the Easter Bunny holding a plate with gray goulash was out of the ordinary.  
  
Not only that, he had to hop like a rabbit to 'keep up appearances', as his smaller companion had said. Uttering to himself on how ridiculous this was, he hopped awkwardly towards the small group. Once or twice, his spiked armor would puncture through the costume, but still no one noticed.  
  
He came right amongst them, next to Joey, who was just sitting there with a vacant expression. Nothing new there. Blackie then reached for the plate that graced Yami's sandwich and quickly grabbed it, pulling it towards him and replaced it with the vile jelly-like concoction.   
  
With an accomplished smile, the Black Luster Bunny was about to turn and hop away, when Joey snapped out of his void and looked at the large rabbit next to him.  
  
If you're expecting Joey to notice something strange here and say something smart, you're in the wrong genre. You'll want "supernatural", because miracles of such high quality belong there.  
  
"Hey, scat, you lollygagging rabbit!" the blond flailed his arms as he yelled at the purple-browed bunny. Black Luster squeaked and quickly hopped away into the forest, where he shed his Easter suit and was teleported back into the ship, where he was met with a swift pie to the face.  
  
Blinkblink .. he soldier reached up to wipe cream and crust from his face, the bewildered voice of Not-Jackal breaking the silence.  
  
"Eh, I found that the sammich was irrevelent, but good job!" Thumbs up. "I forgot my Smartification Ray was at the ready."  
  
Barely hearing anything Not-Jackal had said, he checked his reflection in his gauntlet. And screamed.  
  
"MY MAKE-UP!" And he zoomed to the bathroom to glam' himself back up.  
  
----  
  
"Lunch time, Yami!" Yugi yelled in the direction of the lake, pretending to ignore the sight of his Yami surfacing with a trout in his mouth.  
  
"Goody!" Yami squealed and dashed ashore, donating the trout to a nearby marauding bear.  
  
Just then, Anzu and Tristan skipped up, both with lovely boquets.  
  
"Goody goody gumdrops!" Tristan sang. "We came back just in time!"  
  
"Tristan, you're such a faggot," Joey mumbled, taking a large bite out of his quadruple sandwich. "And your hair is too pointy."  
  
"You're one to talk, blondie," Tristan retorted. "What, hiding a brain tumor beneath that ridiculously large mound in your hair?"  
  
"Guys, that's not being very friendly!" Anzy broke in with her usual lets-all-be-friends attitude. Sickening.  
  
Out of nowhere, two large rocks pelted Anzu in the head, causing immediate unconciousness and bleeding from the skull. Joey and Tristan shook hands and went back to their lunches with happy smiles.  
  
Yugi handed the plate with Yami's new sandwich to his darker half, who took it graciously, eyeing it hungrily. Nasty. He picked up the mushy monstrosity with both hands and brought it to his mouth.  
  
----  
  
"Prepare to fire the Smartification Ray, peon!" Not-Jackal's voice commanded.  
  
"Huh?" The Soldier dropped his Butterfinger candy bar on the control panel, it conveniently dropping on the large button that fired the ray.  
  
----  
  
At the same time the laser hit him, Yami took a large bite of his blob. The ray caused a completely different reaction, due to the combination of the strange ingrediants of the 'sandwich'.  
  
Of course, no one noticed the strange transformation that befallen Yami until Joey spoke up.  
  
"Hey Yami, can you pass the pickle jar with the stork on it?" He glanced at Yami, and released an ear peircing scream.  
  
"What?" Yami asked with a mouthful of goo.  
  
---------------  
  
End of Chapter 1! Please no flames, I know that the amount of idiocy and character bashing is overflowing. XD  
  
-Snuggles the Black Luster Bunny- :D  
  
BLB: ;-; 


	2. Dolphkeys, Hoooo!

Sorry for the wait, everyone. Hope this next chapter will suffice, even if it is a little short. In case you haven't noticed, I write these chapters as I think 'em. Also, excuse any typos. I don't have a spell check.  
  
Anzu = Tea  
  
Yu-Gi-Oh! = Not mine.  
  
--------  
  
Of Pineapples and Glowsticks  
  
Chapter 2 - Dolphkeys, Hooo!n  
  
Everyone stopped and stared at Joey as he pointed at Yami with a horrified expression, then followed his finger to Yami.  
  
"What!?" Yami asked again, irritated. "Do I have something on my face?"  
  
Tristan pulled a mirror from Anzu's pocket and showed Yami his reflection. Yami stared at the hideous creature in the mirror. It looked like a miniature turkey, but instead of tail feathers, a dolphin tail was present and a dorsal fin poked out of its back.  
  
"Eww!" Yami exclaimed. "What a gross pict—Why is it moving!?" He shrieked and flapped his wings. Wait a minute.. Wings? "THAT'S ME!!" Horrified and in shock, Yami flopped around and jumped into Yugi's arms.  
  
"AIIEE EWWW!" Yugi screamed, throwing the turkey dolphin thing against a tree. He then gasped and gathered up his dazed other half, hugging him. "I'm sorry, Yami!"  
  
"What the heck happened to him?" Tristan asked, fanning Joey, who had fainted when Yami began flapping around.  
  
"Maybe it has something to do with that odd-looking goo covering Yami's picnic plate and that flash of bright light that happened a few moments ago and that giant flying saucer above us," Yugi wondered aloud.  
  
"Don't be stupid, small fry," Tristan grunted.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"S'aight."  
  
Joey began to stir, his eyes slitting open. He took one look at Yami, screamed again, and re-fainted. Yami wailed.  
  
"I'm hideous! I even cause Joey to faint!"  
  
"You're not ugly, Yami," Yugi said, petting Yami hesitantly. "Well ….. alright, maybe you are…" Yami started crying.  
  
Tristan went to thwack Yugi upside the head, but shrieked in pain as one of Yugi's hair spikes gouged a gash in his hand. "AAHH DANGIT JOO LIL PUNK!" He then took his flower bouguet and hit Yugi in the face with it. Yugi fell over with a 'bleeehhh'.  
  
-------  
  
Alien Empress Not-Jackal stared at the screen that showed Yami the turkey dolphin while the Black Luster Soldier was down on his hands and knees, looking for his candy bar, his armor clanking loudly against the floor.  
  
"There you are, you little bugger!" the soldier exclaimed, reaching under a table and grasping a half-eaten Butterfinger bar. He stood up, munching happily on his candy, and marched back over to AENJ. "So what's shakin', dawg? Homeskillet? Tooty fr—OW!" He interrupted himself with a yelp as AENJ beamed him in the forehead with a billiard ball.  
  
"Look at what you did, peon!" AENJ yelled, pointing at the screen.  
  
"And just how is that my fault, again?"  
  
"I said so, drone."  
  
"I'm still not understanding this drone stuff."  
  
"Silence! They're making a move."  
  
---------  
  
"I've got an idea," stated a now-concious Joey. All over the world, cats and dogs began to get along. Parrots spoke fluent ancient Greek. Lucifer shuddered at a sudden cold draft. "Let's take him to yer grampa, Yuge. He's old, and old peope are supposed to be smart."  
  
"What can my grampa do?"  
  
"I dunno. Witchcraft he learned from a caveman shaman or something."  
  
Yugi pondered a moment. "I guess we can do that." He stood, holding Yami, who was still freaking out.  
  
"Potatos! THE POTATOS!"  
  
"Be quiet, Yami."  
  
And so they started off, leaving the picnic stuff behind and Anzu hemorrhaging on the ground. And as they left, the big UFO hummed and hovered up into the clouds to follow steathily.  
  
------  
  
And there you have it. Short, but imformationable. I'll start pondering on the third chapter shortly, but I also have other ideas for other fics roaming around inside my cranium. =D  
  
Black Luster Soldier: Boycott this fic! It's a menace to the fanfic society! HECK NO, WE WON'T GO! HECK NO, WE WON'T GO! HECK N--What are you doing? What is that...? No! NO! KEEP IT AWAY! DON'T BRING THAT BUNNY SUIT NEAR ME! AIIIIEEEE!  
  
AENJ: BWAHAHAH. Come back, loyal servant! I have another mission for you! 


End file.
